Sep 142014
 September 14, 2014  Add comments

Casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you (1Peter 5:7).

abandonmentHave people failed you when you needed them most? As a therapist, I have heard women share how their fathers were more interested in drugs, alcohol, or women than spending time with them. Others said mom was more focused on “All My Children” than her own children. Still others had discovered Mr. Right proved to be wrong because he showed no emotion or compassion in their time of need.

All of these women felt they had no value or importance to the people around them. They felt no one would listen or even cared about them. Some even accused God of leaving them alone and not caring about their situation. All of them felt abandoned.

Abandonment is the painful state of being unneeded and emotionally thrown away, or left behind, by a loved one. The experience of constantly being left, or ignored and undervalued, cuts like a knife through the victim’s heart. Anger, shame, and guilt also surface as the victim blames herself for being abandoned.

The Bible says: “Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by” (Psalm 57:1 NKJV).

If you feel abandoned, emotional strength is available in God. He did not make you to be inferior. He will never leave you, so you don’t have to feel lonely. You have great value in God’s eyes!

Ladies, you are special and deserve to be treated with respect. However, many women feel inadequate to meet the needs of others, so they become people-pleasers. Fearing abandonment, they will put up with men who abuse them—physically or verbally. This is self-destructive behavior.

A man who abuses women is insecure. He doesn’t value himself, so he uses words or his fist to devalue women and control them. Being abusive is his way of hiding his fear and anxiety. He covers these emotions by showing anger—a powerful tool for controlling a woman with abandonment issues. An abusive man can sniff out a lonely, hurting, and desperate woman who doesn’t love herself. He will use her insecurities to take advantage during her weakest moments.

If you have been abused or abandoned in the past, it’s not too late to do something about your future. You can address your abandonment issues before they surface again with the same negative consequences and destructive behavior. Sisters, forget those things that are in your past and reach for the things ahead. Press toward the calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-14)!

God is calling you to find help and healing from your abuse. In Him, there is hope to resolve your past and replace your abandonment with adoption into His kingdom, right here on earth. In the title, I said give your abandonment to the Almighty. The name of the Lord God is EL SHADDAI. It means “God who is almighty and sufficient.” He loves to be in the midst of what seems impossible. Let Him in and watch Him change your life. He will remove your insecurities and make you secure in Him.

by Gerald Bower